This breaks my heart...

Advice?

No, he wasn't there for that, at all.

In front of 100 extremely troubled and sick individuals, he spoke with a fierce and factual face.

"Only two of you are going to make it."

I could not believe my ears.

I

could

not

believe

my 

ears.

Only two.

Numbers have a strange way of illustrating the fragility of life.

For example, it took me five years to make sense of my father's death and how his body could be undiscovered for 3 days. Seventy-two lonesome hours.

Numbers

have

way 

of 

punctuating 

the truth.

As we embark upon the end of 2018, many people will not only ignore how they reallyspent this never-to-return year, they will also ignore that they repeatedly covered their laziness with fear.

People often say that fear is the reason that they don't make changes.  

But the truth is, in order to move thru fear you have to abandon your laziness.

Here's a number to anchor my point.

Did you know Americas spend 27.8 billion dollars a year being lazy?

When I learned this fact...

I

could

not

believe

my

eyes.

But then I thought about all the ways I tried to distract myself from my father's death.

I thought about all the emotional procrastinating and all the victimhood. 

I thought about how I wasted (yes wasted) 5 precious years.

I was wasting my life and my talents and my responsibility to this planet, and owning up to that fact, is what it took for me to see the difference between being lazy and being afraid.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. 

But I am saying life dramatically changes when you finally get real with yourself and stop confusing these two.